Let’s face it grappling fans; it’s been a bit of a slog since I reviewed last week’s SmackDown.
Over the past seven days, we’ve had RAW and New Year Dash as well as both AEW Dark, AEW Dynamite and NXT. It’s been a jam-packed schedule that hasn’t all been fun to watch but thanks to a superb episode of NXT and a pretty good, but far from perfect, Dynamite I haven’t yet decided that this wrestling malarky is for the birds and run off to join the circus.
So as I’m still with you, and my sanity seems somewhat intact, it’s time to lace up our boots and head to the ring for this week’s WWE SmackDown Review.
Kofi vs. The Miz
After a returning John Morrison called out the WWE Universe for their treatment of The Miz last week, Kofi and Big E entered the ring to argue that this was just an excuse and that he should be thankful for the fans who had booed him.
Obviously a fight was made out of the back and forth that went on between the four men and it was a very good little tussle, as you’d expect from Kofi and The Miz, but the thing I’m more interested in here is that the WWE seems to think that we should all gang up on The Miz for his actions.
This doesn’t really make any sense.
The fact is that The Miz is in the right. After everything he’d been through it would make sense that when the fans turned on him he’d be pissed. Who wouldn’t be?
So from here on out your friendly neighborhood wrestling writer is firmly in his corner and he hopes that The Miz and Morrison stuff those goddamn pancakes so far up Big E and Kofi that they can taste them for a month.
Firefly Fun House/Bray Wyatt/The Fiend
I haven’t really had a chance to say this before but Vince McMahon should be kissing the gloves of Bray Wyatt every time he bumps into him backstage.
When the Firefly Fun House segments first started airing on WWE programming I really wasn’t sure what to make of them but I was soon tuning in each Monday and Tuesday, as it was at the time, just to see what came next.
The way he’s managed to reinvent himself is extraordinary. His old character had died a horrible death and was responsible for some of the worst segments and matches seen in the WWE, maggot-riddled canvas anyone?
Which makes his return as The Fiend, one of the hottest properties in wrestling today, even more remarkable.
This was pure gold.
His promo on Daniel Bryan was it’s usual class and then having Rambling Rabbit try to give away the secret on how to defeat him, before sending his torn head and body to Bryan as a gift, was brilliantly done.
I can’t wait for their match at The Royal Rumble and if the company has any sense at all, they’ll keep the belt on Bray all the way to Wrestlemania.
Vince McMahon Bull-Honky Alert #1
Oh, for the love of…Does Vince McMahon hate women’s wrestling?
Seriously, somebody please tell me.
Following on from last week’s garbage with Mandy Rose, Dolph Ziggler, and Otis, this SmackDown saw it not only continue but drag Alexa Bliss down with it.
Look, Vince, if you want to carry on with this bizarre courtship that you think is the funniest thing ever to happen then that’s up to you, it’s your company after all, but to drag Lil’ Miss Bliss into this void of creative stupidity is unacceptable.
And what the hell was all that crap between Bayley and Lacey Evans?
I know I said last time out that I wasn’t a fan of the role reversal they had going on but to advertise a match between Evans and Sasha Banks, only to decide that “Screw it, we’ll do something else” is just insulting.
What happened to The Women’s Revolution you were all so proud of?
Thank God for NXT or there would be no quality outlet for these athletes anywhere on TV, and that includes AEW.
Shinsuke Nakamura vs. Braun Strowman
This was the match of the night and not just because it didn’t have any other competition.
The Monster Among Men and The Artist put on a stellar match where power moves and strong, hard-hitting style were the name of the game.
In fact, it was so hard-hitting that Braun ended up with some claret pouring from his nose, which I think happened after Cesaro bounced him off the ring post on the outside but could’ve easily come from a stiff kick from Nakamura.
Sami Zayn deserves a mention here as he’s getting more and more annoying in his role as Agent Provocateur for this trio and even though his interference cost Shinsuke the win, there’s no doubt that he’ll play a pivotal role when these two meet for the title at The Royal Rumble.
Let’s just hope it doesn’t get relegated to the pre-show as everybody needs to see Zayn get his comeuppance on the main show.
Winner: Braun Strowman
Vince McMahon Bull-Honky Alert #2
The Usos returned, they didn’t win.
Bobby Roode returned and beat up Reigns.
Hey, if you can’t be bothered to put on a proper main event then I’ll be buggered if I’m going to waste my time writing about it.
Outside of the first match, the Nakamura/Strowman one, and Bray Wyatt, this week’s episode of SmackDown was terrible.
I am so sick and tired of watching wrestling shows that seem to have forgotten why most of its fans tune in each week.
I don’t need all this soap-opera hooey that has crawled into the soul of the WWE like cancer, if I wanted that sort of garbage I’d watch Eastenders.
What I want from my wrestling shows is wrestling.
Can you imagine turning on a football match only for the teams to spend 90 minutes setting up pointless plotlines instead of goals?
There’d be a riot.
With so much competition out there right now WWE really needs to up its game but it seems so stuck in its way that that will never happen.
Luckily for them, AEW is still in its infancy and NJPW just doesn’t seem to appeal to a vast majority of their demographic but there will come a time when they have to adapt or die.
All great empires perish in the end Vince, just ask the Romans.