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UWN Power Rankings—Week Ending 05/01/2022

Welcome, grapple fans, to the first edition of Sports Obsessive’s UWN Power Rankings! With Championship Wrestling kicking back in again and Memphis very much holding its own, it seemed a great time to start the rankings.

Which wrestlers were at the top of their game this week? Who put the ‘champion’ into Championship Wrestling? Let’s find out!

5. Mike Anthony

‘The Self-Made Savage’ didn’t wrestle this week. But the reason he got himself in at number 5 on the rankings is because he made a genuine power play that got into Brett Michael’s head.

As we know, Mike has already promised to get involved in this weekend’s Memphis Heritage Championship match between champ Michaels and challenger Justin Cole. This past weekend, Brett Michaels called Anthony out, sick as he was of Mike’s threats. ‘The Self-made Savage’ made it seem like he was going to enter the ring, only to jump down at the last second and tell Michaels he will cash in his Cobra Cup for a title shot during the championship match next week.

What a great way to play mind games! Now Brett Michaels is going to be off his game throughout the title match, paranoid as to how and when Mike is going to strike, leaving him vulnerable. A genius power play from Mike Anthony!

4. Brad Skimahorn

One-third of the Trios Champions, Brad wrestled a rare singles match here and proved he could cope in the ring even without his partners, dropping Carlos Alexander Rios in an entertaining encounter. Fast-paced and aggressive, charging Rios in the corner with big knees, also showed his ring smarts, countering a Rios suplex attempt with a roll-up to take the 1-2-3.

With a membership of The Dark Order on The Skimahorns minds, a display like this was just what Brad needed to appeal to the visiting Evil Uno, regardless of what Uncle Mikey wants. Whether it was enough to impress Evil Uno, though, remains to be seen…

3. EJ Sparks

EJ wrestled on Championship Wrestling this week in what appeared to be a showcase match for him against Ray Rosas, as the legendary Booker T joined on commentary to scout talent for his Reality of Wrestling promotion.

Booker could do a lot worse than look at EJ, as the tenacious talent put in a gutsy performance full of heart against veteran Ray Rosas in what was my match of the night. EJ and Ray had great chemistry together but ultimately those fighting feet of EJ’s proved too much for Ray, who fell to EJ’s signature move, the ‘Roundhouse Rhythm.’

Will we see EJ in Reality of Wrestling? I don’t know, but if he continues wrestling like that, good things are coming to EJ Sparks, wherever he ends up.

2. Midnight Heat

A successful title defence is always going to attain a high position on my power rankings, and the UWN Tag Team Champions Midnight Heat have done just that, seeing off the challenge of the Natural Classics in a good bout.

Was it the cleanest of victories? Well, no. Ricky Gibson definitely had a handful of tights, but like Jesse Ventura said: “win if you can, lose if you must, but always cheat.” The Heat are always entertaining and it’ll be good to see them get some stiffer competition in the coming weeks.

See you on Heat Street!

1. Papo Esco

‘King Fat Boy’ Papo Esco is the UWN TV Champion and, after defending against ‘Outlandish’ Zicky Dice in the main event of Championship Wrestling, he remains so after giving Zicky a beating that he won’t forget that soon.

While Zicky tried his tricks, such as biting Papo’s thigh(!) and having Papo chase him around ringside, only to crotch him on the ropes, ‘King Fat Boy’ would not be deterred, battering Zicky with an array of power moves and a nice reverse splash which commentary rightly said brought with it memories of Vader.

One impressive thing I noticed, not having seen Papo in action since he beat Levi Shapiro for the title, is that Papo’s working of the crowd was brilliant and confident. Not that he wasn’t confident before, but he was a heel and also I was watching him during the empty studio era of the UWN. Now actually seeing him wrestle in front of a crowd, he brings a different energy to the ring and it definitely works in his favour. Total respect to the ‘King Fat Boy’.

Written by Chris Flackett

Wrestling obsessed since '91. Lived through the Monday Night Wars and is still here to tell the tale. Major fan of Strong Style, technical and Super Jr. Wrestling, as well as big versatile hosses smacking the hell out of each other. Lives in Manchester, England.

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