And we’re back here on Sports Obsessive, with my WWE RAW Review: Feb 10. Last week’s RAW almost burnt out my Vince McMahon Bull-Honky Alert-Omiter, so it was with great trepidation that I sat down to see just how the company would manage to disappoint me this time out.
Could they top the utter garbage that had been RAW and SmackDown and deliver such an awful product that I’d renounce pro-wrestling all together and run off to join a nunnery, or would they manage to redeem themselves, allowing me to keep my sanity and my job, at least for another seven days?
Well, let’s lace up our boots and head to the ring to find out if I’m going to have to get myself measured for a fetching habit tomorrow morning, shall we?
RAW Women’s Championship Match: Becky Lynch vs. Asuka
Straight off the bat, there’s a couple of things here that I’d like to acknowledge/look at.
First up, whoever decided to send Becky out while Kevin Owens, Samoa Joe, and The Viking raiders were still in the ring, having just chased off Seth Rollins and his cronies, should be given a medal.
Ever since John Cena cut Charlotte’s celebration short, after she defeated Asuka at Wrestlemania 34, it’s become an acceptable norm for the male contingent of the WWE roster to just waltz out to the ring whenever they feel like it, normally during a segment that isn’t over and that involves the Women’s Division.
So to see the roles reversed here made me smile.
Good work whoever was responsible, have a cookie.
Secondly, anyone else thinks it weird the WWE still plays the “Foreigner’s Are Evil” card, a lot?
As she made her way out Asuka spoke in her native Japanese, seemingly to get the crowd to boo her and while I kind of understand the history behind it, there was the war, then the fall-out from the war, then the cold war, surely by now we’re past this sort of thing?
The match itself was just what you’d expect from two of the best wrestlers in the company and they set about doing what they do best, beating seven bails of shite out of each other, with a lot of near falls, almost submissions, and a particularly brutal looking Dis-Arm-Her using the ropes.
The Man would pick up the win to keep her title and then this happened.
Shayna Baszler stormed the ring, laying out Lynch before “biting” a chunk out of her neck and after I’d finished laughing at how ridiculous this was I realized I have a problem with this.
If they’d just left it with Baszler kicking the hell out of Becky then we’d have been good, but the whole “biting” her was just stupid.
You can’t see it in the black and white picture that the WWE puts out whenever anyone gets color, but the blood capsule they used was about as convincing as the concoction they used to use in Shaw Brothers films.
There was just zero need for it.
We all know how much of a threat that Shayna is, not just to Becky but to the whole female roster, so all this did was make her look like a cheap Dracula knock-off.
God, please don’t make this the start of a brand new stable with a returning Gangrel.
Winner And Still RAW Women’s Champion: Becky Lynch
Vince McMahon Bull-Honky Alert #1
Jeez, where to start with this cluster f*ck?
We wait and we wait and we wait for The Street Profits to actually get in the ring and wrazzle, instead of having to put up with their backstage skits that are becoming less and less funny each week, only to have them run over Mojo and his lacky in about 2 minutes flat.
Seriously, the promo that they cut before this squash was longer.
Then after their win poor old Mojo’s sidekick turns on him and wins the 24/7 title.
Does that mean the shovel is out for Mojo’s mini-push already?
I might not be the biggest fan of the bloke but this is mean, just when it seems that they’ve given him some momentum they decide that he isn’t worth the hassle and bury him six feet deep.
In what other job would anyone put up with that kind of treatment?
Maybe it’s time that Mr. Rawley has a life reevaluation and moves onto something else.
I hear Starbucks is hiring.
Angel Garza vs. Cedric Alexander
I have nothing to say about this match, other than it was just there.
It wasn’t good, it wasn’t bad, it just existed to fill time both on the show and until Andrade comes back to carry on his program with Humberto.
This is a shame as I like Angel Garza, but unless the plan is to have him take a beating at the hands of Andrade then he’s just filling in until The United States Champion returns.
Winner: Angel Garza
Rhea Ripley vs. Sarah Logan
Rhea Ripley insults Sarah Logan backstage.
Logan makes her way to the ring and demands a match.
Ripley squashes Logan while staring at Charlotte who’s stood at the top of the ramp like a starving person staring at a sammich.
Winner: Rhea Ripley
Ricochet vs. Bobby Lashley
When this match was announced I knew that there was no way that Bobby Lashley was picking up the win.
Its sole reason was to put over Ricochet and prove that he can be a genuine threat to Brrrrrrrrrock Lesnar at Super Blood Money, but that doesn’t mean that it wasn’t any good and it was, in fact, my Fight of the Night.
Both men put on a brilliant performance and hit some truly “Oh My God!” spots throughout, with Lashley tossing Ricochet around the ring like a rag doll and the high flyer bouncing off of ropes and turnbuckles as if he was possessed by the ghosts of a thousand luchadores.
It ended when Ricochet hit a really nasty looking 630 that must’ve left Big Bob with some bruises to the sternum and even though he’s got between zero and bupkis chance of walking out of Saudi Arabia with the WWE title, if Brrrrrrrrrrrrrock Lesnar is ready and willing to work, it could be a show-stealer.
Matt Hardy Retirement Promo
There are a lot of rumors doing the rounds about this promo from The Broken/Woken one.
“Insider’s” claim that his contract is up in the next couple of days which means he’s either going into free-agency or he’s riding off into the sunset and while the internet is awash with fans worldwide already fantasy booking his run in AEW, there’s a few of us who thinks that maybe Matt Hardy just said goodbye.
This was the most passionate promo he’s delivered in years and the way he was having to keep his emotions in check when talking about his past can only mean, in the opinion of your friendly neighborhood wrestling writer, that he’s called it a day.
That or he’s one hell of an actor.
And what better way to sign off a glorious career than by being on the receiving end of a conchairto from The Viper?
Somewhere down the line, possibly after Christian is about to take a beating at the hands of Randy (you read it here first folks), Edge will return to spear Orton into the middle of next week, but for now, if this was the last we’ll see of Matt Hardy in the squared circle, it was the perfect way to go out.
So long Matt and thanks for everything.
Vince McMahon Bull-Honky Alert #2
Aleister Black showed up, knocked off Akira Tozawa quickly, sat in the middle of the ring and talked some more bollocks.
So that’s what he does now, is it?
Beats up jobbers and former NXT foes before chatting nonsensical horse-crap about how people should fear him?
Alesiter, mate, when you’re paraphrasing lines from The Watchmen, maybe it’s time to come up with something new.
8 Man Tag-Team Match: Samoa Joe, Kevin Owens and The Viking Raiders vs. Seth Rollins, Murphy and The Authors of Pain
And just when it looked as if the WWE were going to give Owens, Joe, and The Viking Raiders a much-needed win, they dropped the ball as if they were Jordan Pickford at Anfield (one for you proper football fans there).
Now, I’m no fan of 50/50 booking, in fact, I hate it, but I’m even less of a fan of making your Babyfaces look like complete and utter mooks by falling for the same old shenanigans that the Heel’s use each and every week.
It drives me nuts, even more so when you take into consideration that this almost perfect match-up would’ve been ripe for a win.
It was all the things I love about tag-team wrestling, fast-paced, hard-hitting action of the top order, including a three-man synchronized suicide dive from The Viking Raiders and Samoa Joe that has to be seen to be believed but when it came to pulling the trigger on their win, they were once again out-foxed by The Monday Night Messiah, who curb-stomped Joe, allowing Murphy (because we’re the WWE and we hate first names) to pick up the 1-2-3.
I know there must be a plan here, but I’ll be buggered if I can see it unless it’s for this to run all the way to Wrestlemania where the good guys finally get one over on Seth and his boys, by which time no-one will care about a group of perennial losers.
Not good booking WWE, not good booking at all.
Winners: Seth Rollins, Murphy, And The AOP
This wasn’t necessarily a good episode of RAW but neither was it a totally bad one, like the Angel Garza match, it was just there to fill time.
There were some outstanding bits, such as anything Becky Lynch has anything to do with, Ricochet vs. Bobby Lashley, Matt Hardy’s (possible) retirement promo, and the action in the 8 Man Tag match, if not the outcome.
But, as always with this damn company, there was some trash as well.
If you’re making me feel sorry for Mojo Rawley then you really need to look at how you book wrestlers going forward, either push them as planned or don’t push them at all, but don’t give them a start only to tear it away from them because you think it’s “What’s best for business”.
That’s mean spirited on a level that would make 90s Shaun Michaels blush.
And as for Aleister Black, either shit or get off the pot, buddy.
All this “Ooo, look at me, aren’t I dark and mysterious” mumbo jumbo he keeps spouting makes him look like a 16-year-old Goth kid trying to write edgy poetry and really isn’t doing him any favors.
Either let him be the bad-ass he once was or send him back to NXT.
After all, it hasn’t done Finn Balor’s career any harm to return to Full Sail University.