Last week OVW TV had forward motion. They were rushing towards a special event at Christmas and that’s given a reason for the season. And a dangle to the angle. At this point, I’m probably just rhyming words. And it’s less fun than a pun. Anyway, there was fun to be had on this OVW TV episode and a clear journey, slightly derailed by some pretty obvious humour.
Here We Go, The Good Stuff
A small recap.
OVW TV Christmas Chaos will have:
Stipulations in every match
Every title on the line
What about Shannon ‘The Dude’s title? I told you last week to shut up about that!
There Were Some Good Matches This Week
Now then, the big nasty tag team champ Dark Cloudz are now the ex-tag team champs. And they ain’t best pleased. They’re going to take it out on Superior Tony Evans and Joey Avalon. The former, from what I’ve seen over the last few months in OVW, has not lived up to his name in a wrestling ring. The latter is ‘The King Of Spades’ and so? He carries a shovel. A new one, fresh from the store. Say what you see…
They took it to the Dark Cloudz, though, in fact an Avalon high kick made Eric Darkstorm stumble, but soon one opponent was thrown into the ring post, one onto the ring steps. And then the Dark Cloudz assisted stunner, which this time contained a pulling on the neck which created a nasty-looking spike. I like Shalante in marvellous Memphis Wrestling. She has a singing shtick which is more than that.
How it works is that Shalante Royale fancies herself as a diva. An operatic one. And so she communicates in warbling notes. She even punctuates her moves with song. And in Memphis she really sings out, but here she was a bit constrained. And then beaten down. OVW Women’s Champ Sierra has arrogance and power, although a sweet twisting forearm from Shalante put her down. She replied with a stiff-looking backbreaker and sort of Meteora in the corner. And when the end comes, it’s of Shalante’s own making. When your opponent has a backpack stunner finisher, don’t jump on her back, it will only end in…oh, it did.
It’s the OVW Legacy Of Brutality sweepstakes! C$sh Flo likes Dimes, but the gent with the protein powder who thinks he’s a super heavyweight actually isn’t. And LOB main man, Josh Asscraft…Ashcr…Asscrac…anyway, he wants them to settle their differences the old fashioned way. In the ring! Big Zo and Steve Michsels were called in against C$sh Flo and Dimes. Zo looked to be in good shape, with fewer pounds, more muscle. Flo looked amused.
And Dimes had a damn good go at Zo, even hitting a DDT counter from a bear hug. He had a tussle with Michaels too before tasting a heavy slam and leg drop. Flo dealt with them both, of course, picked up Micheals for a slam, Samoan dropped him later, hit a frog splash on Zo then picked up Dimes and threw him onto his teammate/opponent for the pin.
Josh was so angry. And it was fun to see that
Now To The Not Such Fun Stuff
You knew there was going to be some, surely. OVW Boss Al Snow came out at the end of the program to announce the stipulations for Christmas Chaos. Why the end? Why not announce each one as we go and have the reactions peppered throughout the program? That would have been good. This seemed rushed. And it robbed us of a wrestling finish.
He was in the ring. With a table. On that table was one of those little metal tombola tumblers with balls in. He took one look at it and announced he’d got the stipulations together earlier. No way he also going to use those balls.
Announced was a knockout match, a no DQ, title on a pole. Great. But not given the importance they deserved. Shame. And now to the most egregious part of the program.
Started off so well, as Queen put it. The trophy, won by now tag team champs the, ahem, Fanny Pack Party, had been stolen by Dark Cloudz who brought it to the ring. FPP took it back whilst DC was celebrating their win. So later on when FPP were talking, DC snagged it with a fishing rod, leading to a cry of ‘noooooo!’ So far, so good.
But then Eric Darkstorm entered the bathroom to preen in the mirror With the cup. Now, I wonder? Cue the immediate need to go to the toilet, complete with gut gurgling and bottom burping noises. He locked himself into the stall. But who was next door? It was snickering and tittering FPP who took the cup back.
Now, here’s the issue, apart from the literal toilet humor which OVW TV commentator Bryan Kennison rightly mentions later, there was no scene of FPP slipping something into Diarrhea Darkstone’s food or drink. I’m sure I didn’t miss it, I was concentrating quite hard. And so for me, I had a punchline with no setup, no feed line, like this:
How Does It Smell?
Now with the feedline;
My dog’s got no nose
How does it smell?
That’s how it goes. Without the set up it’s doesn’t work. And neither did this.
It was, because quite a lot of this OVW hour was good. Some good matches, a febrile atmosphere, and Bryan Kennison doing a good hype job.
Actually, it made me look forward to OVW Christmas Chaos. Oh well then, job done then!