‘It was the best of times, it was the worst of times.’
OK, OK, it’s not ‘A Christmas Carol’ but it is Dickens, which the OVW look back is using and, although I may be overstating, they’ve had successes and challenges aplenty in 2021.
Stevie D..J…DG? And Bryan!
The OVW dream team present this look back! Never mind Shannon (The Dude), these two are where it’s at, for Ohio Valley Wrestling, they do good work together and have an energy that is easy to watch.
And here they are, to look back at a tasty selection box of hard centres. Yep, this will be a chocolates bit.
Encasing the matches (see, the crappy imagery comes in early) is the Bryan & Stevie show. But this is no simple announcement of matches.
That would be too easy for 2 funsters who had their own OVW programme until recently. They want a theme.
A theme, I tells ya!
So…’A Christmas Carol’ it will be. Except it doesn’t look like anyone had the book, because Bryan is reading a hardback with a photocopied piece of white A4 paper with a picture of the book on it.
Looks like it, anyway. Did no one at OVW have a bit of Dickens in their collection? They could have been better off reading from Sports Obsessive, as Bryan seems a fan.
Anyway, Bryan wants to read, but Stevie D…J…DG…anyway, Stevie is bah and humbug. He hasn’t got time for Christmas cheer, mince pies and dry turkey, he wants to get on with his business. Hang on, that sounds like a character which sounds like Stooge.
Who is the stooge in this duo?..
They are visited by ghosts of course. Well, not ghosts, wrestlers. Well, not all wrestlers, but – oh, you get the idea!
Popping in are:
Josh Ashcrap…Arsecrac…Ass…Josh all in chain as a multi purpose Marley and Chain Carnage event reminder.
Jessie Godderz as an OVW National Heavyweight champ.
Hyzaya as the Ghost Of Silent Present.
Haley J as the sparky improviser who Bryan and Stevie can’t keep up with.
And the matches they pick are pretty good too. It’s fun, because I missed the OVW PPV/events that these matches came from.
I know, I know, I should be watching every hour of wrestling there is, stepping into a time hole and watching an extra 84 hours.
Anyway, never mind about my time hole…
No ropes. Chains. OVW Champ C$sh Flo against crowd fave Omar Amir. And most of the spots in this match are about the chains. As you’d expect.
Like Amir having his nut cluster rearranged on the top buckle which had no padding, in fact Bryan and Stevie’s screaming commentary seemed to suggest that this was Wrestlemania III all over again.
I’m sure Andre The Giant never cross bodied into the chains as Flo did, nor did Hogan taste a boot with a chain round it off the top.
Amir bled, Flo punched the cut, then showed the camera his bloodied knuckles – nice but nasty.
Amir deserved the pin. Well, he is popular. And he got Flo up for his spinebuster.
A good match and the chains didn’t make it an anomaly either.
Tough but worthwhile. Haley J v Joseline Navarro in a weapons out fight. Both gave it loads and both won really, even though it was actually Haley who did. Highlights? Oh, go on then;
Trashcan lid to the head
Broom to the back
Plunger to Haley’s face (Bryan asks to imagine where it might have been)
Navarro spanked with a cheese grater; a grate move…OK, moving on…
Bangarang from Navarro with Haley in the trashcan.
Sounds good, doesn’t it? It was. Haley won with the Sock O’ Rocks to the head (OVW have forgotten that recently, haven’t they?)
What a match, entertaining, innovative, excellent.
It was OK. But it was a bit gimmicky and a bit comedy.
Shera was supposedly blinded, that was the gimmick. He was fighting Shannon (The apparent Dude), that was the comedy.
It was part of the Kentucky Brewing Co tournament, that competition which was spread over so long by OVW, it appeared to last half a decade.
And after the two rotund ‘managers’ were sent to the back, mercifully quickly, we became aware that Shera wasn’t blinded at all!
What a kidder!
Spinebuster. Shera. Pin. Meh.
Because it’s sweet, but it’s over too quickly. (Where have I heard that before?)
Jessie Godderz v Da Pope, belt v belt.
And some tasty action if not enough of it. How could you argue with an athletically high Godderz dropkick and immediate Boston crab, a spiked DDT from Pope (that spiking is popular these days, isn’t it?), some strange looking double knees for a Pope long 2 and a brainbuster from him too.
Pope couldn’t have taken the OVW belt to the NWA. Same for Godderz.
But it ended with ref shenanigans and a DQ. Pope thought he’d won. He’s a 17 year pro, surely he knows a…
Title Can Never Change Hands On A DQ
Unless Al Snow Says So.
Always enjoyable, but expected. For the OVW Rush Division championship, champ Starrider v Guatavo v Blanco Loco.
Blimey, that Blanco Loco is quick, he’ll meet himself coming back one day. But then, that were all pretty speedy.
BL did drop Gustavo on a twisting neckbreaker attempt when when he lost control and I was worried when Solavino arrived to mess with Gustavo, one standing sliced bread later and I’m glad he turned up.
And Gustavo probably deserved the pin from the roll through on Starrider.
He couldn’t believe it, but whilst he was champ, he had lovely open energy.
Yes, I know you don’t get that in a box of choccies, but this ladder match for the OVW Tag Team championships had multiple teams and many thrills.
Name ’em then.
OK, I will!
The Iron Bear, Tom Coffey, just throwing one Tait Twin onto the walkway and then in the ring helped his partner Espinoza with a spinebuster on the other.
Kal Herro trying to add even more fan favouritism with Al Snow’s head. No, he hadn’t taken a blade to the boss and decapitated him, this is the mannequin head much loved of ECW and WWF/E crowds. It was a bit more of a muted reaction here.
But my reaction wasn’t when Steve Michaels, here with Zo, stepped on the bottom rung of the ladder and broke it.
Or Dustin Jackson coming off the top of that tall ladder onto Eric Darkstorm who also happened to be lying on a ladder.
The best move of the match was Michaels chokeslamming Big Rex into a ladder in the corner. The ladder broke like matchwood. My word…
Darkstorm and Bundles, Dark Cloudz, won but the match was the thing.
So A Christmas Pressie Then?
Very much so. Most matches rather good to watch, Stevie DJDG being told by Al to get festive and listening to the boss man, just like Ebeneezer. Sort of.
And the Santa actor got some more work. Christmas Chaos wasn’t a one shot deal! His line about Bryan and Stevie taking his sledge and a 14 thousand mile Uber bill was sweet too.
OVW serve up leftovers and they’re really tasty…