Stipulations For Every Match!
Every Title On The Line!
Didn’t OVW Road To Christmas Chaos have the women’s championship up for grabs? Wasn’t it supposed to be a Title On A Pole match?
Did I fall asleep? I’m sure I didn’t. There was no women’s match in this programme. And I was looking forward to OVW champ Sierra versus Dani Mo up a pole, too.
Never mind, there was a variety of action to keep us going.
Belt : OVW Heavyweight
Stip: Knock Out Match
Ryan Howe v Ronnie Roberts
Hang on, isn’t just the old Last Man Standing match with the 10 count? Oh, they’re doing the arm drops 3 times thing. Should be good for some Hulking Up action.
And hang on, doesn’t this favour the challenger Ronnie, who has a Hand Of God big punch finisher?
Maybe, but putting OVW championship the belt on Howe, who has go away heat, was a bad decision. Point taken.
There was a lot of work here. And some of it was actually good.
Like Ronnie’s delight at standing on the top rope and his rather elbow off it, the head to top, middle, bottom buckle finished off with a rather savage smacking of Howe’s head into the mat, and the sit down here while I dropkick you off your chair Ronnie special.
Howe didn’t get much offence in. Thanks should be given for that. In fact, the best work for him was delivered by his wrestling partner, Arie Alexander, who, just as Howe’s hand was dropping for a third time, held it up – excellent heel work.
The ending came in a rather clunky way. Ryan went to the walkway, grabbed a present which just happened to be a guitar. Which just happened to be gimmicked. Which then ended up on Ronnie’s head for the pin.
It was OK. But it wasn’t great.
Belt : OVW National Heavyweight
Stip: Falls Count Anywhere! Absolutely Anywhere!
Jessie Godderz v Jake Omen
There was rather a lack of aspiration in this match. In the Anywhere part of the Falls Count Anywhere bit.
Perhaps I wanted to them to battle out to the carpark, then paddle in a local river, buy each other a hot donut and battle back to the ring.
There was some good action, including a Godderz inzegueri ringside and a chair jabbed into the throat, then a rather nasty spiked DDT on the concrete from Omen – those mats are only there for aesthetic reasons, Bryan Kennison told us…
And then they battled to the back…yes, this looks good…they burst through a door…keep going…Godderz had speared him into the loading bay…and…that’s it. Pin. Done. Just when it was getting interesting.
Santa! That’s what we need! Reckon he’s an actor? A staffer? Or is it Zanta Claus from the WWF/E?
He gave a gift to Jesse and went. Don’t worry, you’ve been good this year, He’ll be back. In the box? A lock. A master lock. I’ll wait………………………………………………yes, it’s Chris Masters, or Adonis at the moment, isn’t it? Doesn’t quite work. Anyway, title v title at the OVW Nightmare Rumble. Actually, that feels like a big deal.
And this was too.
Title: OVW Tag
Stip: Tables, Ladders, Chairs
Fanny Pack Party v Dark Cloudz
Was this for the Tag Team championship? Or the cup they were chasing in a ‘Looney Tunes’ (thanks, Bryan) style on the last episode? It was hanging above the ring, so that might be a clue…
FPP (as I shall definitely call them) are champs. Dark Cloudz, who used to be champs, are unhappy.
And rather good action came from the enmity.
Bundles lawn darted into a chair by the buckles, Eric Darkstorm fell from one ladder onto another set up in the corner.
A word about that ladder. It’s hard to do work with ladders which seems new. Darkstorm managed it.
Ladder in the ring set up. Another ladder wedged between that ladder and the buckles. What did Eric D do? Pushed the ladder through the rungs right into Dustin Jackson’s knees – ooh, painful!
And when Bundles suplexed Jackson through a table, Bryan and Stevie (the OVW dream team) screamed as if they’d never seen it before.
What happens when OVW has a no rope exploding barbed wire death match? Sh*t would surely be lost.
Eventually Darkstorm took the final tumble through a table at ringside from the top and Kal Herro got the cup.
Good action, actually, some of it seen before but most of it done stylishly. A great way to end.
Except it wasn’t…
Santa Kicked Ass!
Asscrap…Ashcrop…Josh Assbloke to be precise. And the OVW crowd loved it when he bad mouthed santa who Stone Cold stunnered into oblivion.
Send them home happy…
And Were You Happy?
Well, I wasn’t cheesed off. I had a pretty good time.
If the first match had been more competitive. If the second match had been more of falls counting everywhere. If there had been a women’s championship match.
But the main event was very well done and Bryan hyped it up like he’d never seen wrestling before.
Nice one OVW. Christmas comes early