It’s Christmas time,
Memphis Wrestling is still good,
Santa was there, but they swerved us,
As I knew they would…
As Band Aid didn’t sing. That swerve? More of that later.
This episode of Memphis Wrestling TV was perhaps not as fabulous as recent weeks, but still bloody good. And with a fantastic swerve which only wrestling programmes that have endeared themselves to us can provide.
So, did we get what we asked Santa Dustin for?
Uncle Mikey Gets A Pressie Or Two
So over, so energetic, such an annoyance to his Skimahorn cousins.
This week he was part part of a Memphis Wrestling Christmas Present match with Van Viciouss. A Christmas Present Match? So would they unwrap the present on the walkway and use what was in it?
Good match though, ‘cos they can both go. VV is announced as Santa Claus and has a pair of red shorts on to denote it, good job he had his wrestling trunks underneath as Mikey went for them early.
He hit a very quick spinning kick on Visciouss too, but soon found himself superplexed onto 2 boxes of gifts; there could be a fresh pair of kicks from Thrifty Man in there!
Viciouss laid out a lovely safe, picture perfect backbreaker but soon ate wrapping paper courtesy of Mikey’s gator feet and then was crowned by another pressie.
One shining wizard later and the pin was Mikey’s.
A short and sweet match to start things off.
The Pressies Continue After Christmas
Who is coming to Memphis Wrestling?
Only Jonathan Gresham! That’s a real wrestling coup.
And not only that; the Machine Brian Cage will be there too!
And Rhino…oh well, you can’t win ’em all…
But Memphis is becoming the promotion to be seen in, testament to the work here.
Big Swoll Finds A New Tag Partner
It’s perennial loser Kid Wrestling! Now, the Memphis Wrestling graphic made it clear this was Big Swoll Cole WITH Kid Wrestling, but they didn’t half work well together.
Yes of course KW got beat up a bit by Martin and Jay Smooth, but he hit a mighty fine DDT off the ropes, difficult to do.
And then after Swoll provided clotheslines for all, they were finished off with a KW neckbreaker and the Swoll slam for the pin; working well together, fluid and with charisma.
Swoll certainly needs that.
Christmas With The Crowleys Is Delightfully Odd
Just another word to Hollywood Horror Show leader Jimmy Blaylock. It’s the CrOwleys, not the CrAwleys. You work with them. You are their titular leader. The least you could do is get their names right.
The oddness? Well, that will be in the presents. Jimmy gave Otis Crowley a very realistic looking baby doll, Dustin commented that he got a real one of those last Christmas, but it did look pretty real.
It got odder. His brother Jacksyn took the baby and breastfed it.
Yes, breastfed it.
And so Otis didn’t lose out, Jimmy gave him a gift too. A stuffed, but very realistic, possum.
Of course they pretended it stank, Maria Starr went running when it came near her and their opponent, the Gunslinger (it was never made clear who was supposed to wrestle him) was beaten with the critter.
And strapped by Jimmy, who appears to have a fixation with the belt at the moment.
It could have been odder. And better. Jimmy presenting the gifts just seemed a little incongruous, he’s someone who struggles to cope with the weirdness of his charges, so his gifts giving seemed a little fatherly and too conventional.
It also didn’t give Jacksyn enough to do, and I always want him to have more to do. He has such a strange look, such great movement and the intelligence to make that character work. Dustin should run with the idea.
Walker & Warsaw Should Be Given A Run Too
That 80’s US kookie cop show feel (‘He’s a slovenly US sergeant. He’s a tightly wound iron curtain cop’) and yes, I’m aware it’s a bit ‘Red Heat’ – needs work.
But Ivan Warsaw can cosset the impressionable Walker Hayes (we seem to have forgotten that he’s a kind of zombie) and they should be a really tough tag team.
The Yung Goats Are A Real Find
Zay Washington and Aaron Roberts are solid, charismatic and high flying too.
This week they faced the Derrick King and Danny B Good; Danny’s son seems to be out of the picture now, so The Hotsteppers are no more, even though they were Memphis Wrestling Tag Team champs – for about 30 mins.
This team are now the Goats and they had a short but sweet match, including a Danny slam and legdrop combo, a Zay springboard splash and a double Goats superplex.
The Yung Goats finisher has an inevitability to it, but here it was derailed by a Danny superkick, so Zay had to wind Aaron round for a Super Spear.
They retained, but they were taken to task by a good Goats team who even came back from a blockbuster on Derrick.
New Pro Shingle Advert!
Dave Brown outdoors! With a house, presumably getting a speedy shingle service, in the background!
And then Skylar later on, Amber Rodriguez has been looking for her, here she is!
We need them, but we perhaps wanted something a bit more interesting.
Heather Monroe, Memphis Wrestling Women’s Champ, interrupted Shalonce singing ‘Silent Night’. I wanted to hear Shalonce, she has a legitimately sweet operatic voice.
So I wasn’t happy with that anyway. Then Heather announced a gauntlet for the gold next week, booked it there and then. And Dustin, top man, seemed:
A. Not to be concerned about it
B. Not to know about it
But you’re the Memphis Wrestling main man, Mr Starr! You really should know.
And how did Amber suddenly hear about it, in the back on her phone? She stopped and listened. To a tannoy relay? Or were they just really loud?
It was just a bit clunky.
And I wanted to hear ‘Silent Night’, dammit!
Let’s not forget, the main feud, Mike Anthony v Heritage Champion Brett ‘Every Rose Has It’s Thorn’ Michaels, has been handled beautifully, a long simmer brought to the boil for moments of violence then taken off the heat again.
So well booked and a couple of wrestlers who have a real charisma together.
They’ll be grappling at the Grind City Rumble and we may not have even needed them this week. But we got them.
Brett first, mentioning Christmas Day and his two daughters. Why mention them? This is why.
Here comes Anthony. Through the front door. Made a beeline straight to Brett’s daughters in the crowd. Of course Brett stepped in front.
Staredown. Anthony smiled and backed away.
Now, this felt like a step back. They’ve gone a lot further than staredowns, do this angle had to be something to push things. And it could have been, if handled better.
It would need to be careful handled, but Memphis Wrestling were there already. They involved Brett’s daughters in a storyline. Not directly, that would have been inappropriate, but mentioned. So why not set it up?
Why not have Anthony cut a promo mentioning his family, then leave it hanging until he arrived?
It would have given Michaels something to really get angry about other than ‘where you at?’ jibes and could have given Anthony a feel that he was prepared to go further than we wanted.
Shame. A lost opportunity but just one misstep in a superbly plotted angle.
Talking of superbly plotted angles…
Santa made his way down to the ring. They made sure to catch a child in the crowd delighted at his appearance.
Aaron Roberts of the tag team champs was overly delighted at the appearance of St Nick.
As he arrived, suddenly Swoggle Claus came from the back. Remember last week when he was chasing the Grinch around?
Things have changed a little. His wrists are now bound.
And the Grinch and Santa seemed to be in agreement.
What? This is the Grinch who hates Christmas and Santa, who’s main employment is Christmas! They are diametrically opposed!
What fiendish trickery is this?
They went at Aaron Roberts with pressies to the head and torso. I don’t know why. He was there. Maybe he likes Christmas more than other wrestlers. Maybe he hoped Ed Sheeran would be no1 for Christmas.
How dare they? But hang on, that’s not all…
Santa and the Grinch?
It’s the Posse! They’ve gone full heel!
Actually, they’ve done this really well, have Memphis Wrestling. Patiently, quietly, with little hints.
They’ve been cheesed off at the lack of tag team title shots, even making a list for Santa last week, there’s been vague talk of the Posse finding their edge, but this was a shock.
It ended quickly, as Posse Simon went over to Aaron, who had been spiked by a Posse shoulder pad (think LOD with vicious intent) seemingly to check on him.
You can’t be a nasty heel who has subverted Christmas and then show concern for your adversary…
Having written that, this huge Posse turn is massive.
So A Good Christmas?
Oh yes, everyone got a pressie, we had a great surprise and Santa pulled a swerve.
Memphis Wrestling still Goes By In The Blink Of An Eye and it’s still the best Wrestling Entertainment hour around