This week on Championship Wrestling from Memphis, Ryan Rembrandt and Precious will both be in action. But what is going on between them and Cassandra Golden? There’s a big eight-man tag match to look forward to, while Brett Michaels is still carrying that baseball bat, a man on a mission looking for Alan Steel and Johnny Dotson.
Let’s head to the ring and get into it!
Humongous vs. Super Ed
We kick off this week with Super Ed, a superfan who comes out with a baseball cap with a propeller on it. Your mileage may vary, folks. Humongous makes quick work of him, ignoring the offer of a handshake and laying Ed out with two big boots to take the win.
Afterwards, The Crowleys came out to play with the corpse (I say corpse; you know what I mean) and stare out the audience. Otis’ flesh apron is truly disturbing…
Ed McMahon Gets Turned Down
Backstage, Ed McMahon was making notes until an angry Brett Michaels appeared, looking for Alan Steel and Johnny Dotson. Ed McMahon hasn’t seen them but he tells Michaels that he’s comfortable with violence and he can take the big man places. Michaels dismisses him completely before leaving. Back to the drawing board, Ed.
Paris Kelly vs. Cassandra Golden
Cassandra was followed out this week by Precious, who wanted to get some kind of revenge for being distracted by Cassandra last week. Indeed, Cassandra was distracted twice by Precious, allowing Paris Kelly to take the advantage.
Ryan Rembrandt came out to even the score, threatening Precious and keeping his eye on him. Cassandra took the win with a big Michinoku Driver but the real story took place outside the ring, as both Precious and Rembrandt cheered Cassandra on before arguing amongst themselves. Cassandra gave them both an annoyed look before leaving without either man.
Does Memphis have a love triangle? Methinks so…
Don’t Talk About It; Be About It!
Backstage Terrence Ward spoke to Cece Chanel, who was none too happy about the things Amber Rodriguez said about her last week. In fact, Cece doesn’t do talk. Amber shouldn’t talk about it, she should be about it! Cece told Amber to step up and take her on next week. Cece is one of the best women’s wrestlers in the UWN so this should be a great match.
Meanwhile, a furious Derick King ranted at poor Terence about how Austin Lane put his hands on the King. But hey, speak of the devil and he shall appear, and Austin Lane did just that, putting King in his place, slapping King’s finger out of his face and telling King he crossed the line by putting hands on his wife. All that did was poke the bear, and now he’s going to have to deal with the consequences in a mixed tag match.
Lane was really good here. I can’t wait to see him make King toe the line now. Job done.
Bam Bam Malone vs. Van Vicious
This was a nice little match that saw Van Vicious resort to using the ropes to choke Malone while hitting him with power moves and big kicks and knees, while Malone used his speed and athleticism to overwhelm the Vicious one. Bam Bam in particular is very impressive and is a great addition to the Memphis roster.
Over on commentary, Derrick King ran down Austin and Nikki Lane, calling them peasants and claiming Austin Lane is not the “best of the best” because he can’t even control his wife. Ouch! You know, as and when King decided to hang up the boots for good, he’d make a killing as a colour commentator.
In the end, Queen Katelynn distracted the ref, allowing Van Vicious to clock Bam Bam with the briefcase to steal the win. I guess you could say Bam Bam got crowned? Derrick King was certainly happy with the victory. He won’t be as happy when Austin Lane gets his hands on him…
The Posse & Da Russell Twins vs. The Skimahorns & Big Ace and Big Jack
The power of Big Jack was the difference-maker early on, allowing the heels to isolate and beat on Lil’ Chris. Chris managed to move out of the way of a Jack charge though and made the hot tag. A series of Whisper in the Winds saw both Russell Twins leap so high that they took out a ceiling panel! You could say it was a botch, but it made me inexplicably happy for some reason!
The heels looked to isolate Isiah Russell but he countered a Big Ace throw with a big DDT. Big Simon impressed with his strength as he nailed a double-sidewalk slam on both Skimahorns but, as the action broke down, a big boot-German suplex combo from Ace and Jack saw Brad Skimahorn sneak in and cover Alan Russell while Jack still had him in the German, stealing Jack’s pinfall in the process.
A good match, but Jack and Ace didn’t look too happy about the outcome. I’d be careful if I were you, Skimahorns…
Ryan Rembrandt vs. Norman Meklakov
After their confrontation earlier in the evening, would Precious show his face during this match up?
Rembrandt used his speed to run circles around Meklakov at first, dropkicking the knee to take the big man down. Surprisingly, the big man showed some agility of his own, nailing Rembrandt with a nice leaping kick. Meklakov kept up the pressure with some big power moves but a hurricarana from Rembrandt sent the big Russian headfirst into the middle turnbuckle before Ryan kicked out the legs of Norman to take away that size advantage.
At ringside, Cassandra Golden had come out to cheer on Rembrandt. Of course, Precious was alongside her, pleading with her to listen to him and spinning her around. Rembrandt got distracted, allowing Meklakov to land a clubbing blow to the back before finishing Rembrandt off with the full nelson slam.
Cassandra Golden was not happy, pushing Precious away before leaving with Rembrandt. But if Golden or Rembrandt wanted revenge, they wouldn’t have to wait long.
Precious vs. Jase Osei
Jase Osei is a big man—especially when you put him next to Precious. I wasn’t a big fan of Precious’ creeping about here, trying to find an escape route and crying out unsuccessfully for Cassandra Golden. I wanted to see Osei! But after a kick and a knee strike, Precious was out for the count. Now, hopefully, we can see Osei have a proper match. I’m looking forward to seeing my fellow Brit take on the likes of Justin Cole, Mike Anthony, Bam Bam Malone, Action Jackson and Chris Lexx. Osei’s coming for you, gents—get ready!
Brett Gets Beat
As the show was getting ready to go off the air, Alan Steel grabbed a camera and told Brett Michaels Johnny Dotson was away on business, so why didn’t they go at it one-on-one? Steel made his way into the ring but as a furious Michaels pursued him, Dotson appeared out of nowhere and attacked Michaels from behind. A two-on-one beatdown commenced, with Michaels getting a pounding, Dustin Starr voicing his disgust on commentary. One man more and one step ahead, Steel and Dotson seem to have the measure of Michaels. What will he have to do to finally get satisfaction?
It was a bit of a mixed bag this week in Memphis. On the plus side, I enjoyed Van Vicious vs. Bam Bam, and the eight-man tag was a lot of fun, easily match of the week. Austin Lane’s righteous fury against Derrick King was great, and the show set up two big matches in King and Katelynn vs. The Lanes, and Cece Chanel vs. Amber Rodriguez.
On the flip side, while I don’t hate the triangle between Golden, Rembrandt and Precious, I wouldn’t say I was really excited about it either. And the main event was a waste of Osei’s debut. Could he not have gone against Jonny Lyons, who, while the result would not have been in doubt, would have at least put up a good fight?
Seven weeks in, and there’s been more good than bad on Championship Wrestling from Memphis, definitely. This week felt a bit rocky to me but at the same time, the show has only been going for seven weeks! There’s going to be some bumpy parts of the road as they work towards making the show the best it can be. Believe me, Memphis wrestling is worth supporting.
I’ll see you next week, fans, for more from the fastest hour in wrestling—Championship Wrestling from Memphis!