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The Bodega Prove They Have Brains As Well As Brawn

CWFH Halston Boddy’s Coastline Clash Week Two Review—May 15th

Welcome to our review of Week Two of Halston Boddy’s Coastline Clash! There are some big matches set for this week, as The Bodega defend their UWN tag team titles against not one team but three in a big main event!

Plus, EJ Sparks and Kevin Martenson are in action and Dan Joseph is sue at the Oceanview Pavillion—but what mood will he be in?

Let’s head to the ring and find out!

EJ Sparks vs. Kevin Martenson

EJ Sparks vs. Kevin Martenson title card
Credit: CWFHFanNews, Justin Cotterell & Mark Johnston

We kicked off this week with two veterans of the United Wrestling Network, with EJ Sparks a three-time Arizona champion and Kevin Martenson a former TV and tag team champion in Hollywood. This should be good.

And indeed it was. Martenson displayed some solid psychology at the start, declining to match Sparks on striking and attempting twice in a row to lock Sparks in the Rat Trap sharpshooter, much to EJ’s surprise. Sparks managed to retaliate with his high-speed kicks and athleticism but Martenson tried to ground him with a series of hard backbreakers. If Martenson had kept to that, it might have been over, but he went up top, Sparks cutting him off with a leaping kick to the head before sending him to the mat. Martenson tried to escape to the safety of the floor but this is modern wrestling—there is no safety on the floor! Indeed, EJ flattened the former Rock Nes Monster man with a killer suicide dive to the outside.

Back in the ring, Martenson caught a jumping Sparks with a jaw-dropping catch into a turn and German suplex that took all the life out of EJ. Martenson returned to the back, applying a modified bow and arrow to great effect. But Martenson made the mistake of going upstairs again, allowing Sparks to throw him to the mat. A big kick to the head followed but Martenson ducked the Roundhouse Rhythm and hit a pump kick before smashing EJ’s knee into the ring post. As EJ writhed in pain, Martenson looked to be in two minds over what he had done. It didn’t stop him though from wrapping EJ’s legs around the post in a Figure Four position, twisting his own body back to add extra hurt with a crossface too while the legs were locked. Wow! I’ve never seen that before. It looked lethal, I must say.

EJ tried to fight back in the ring but he was only fighting the inevitable. Moments later, a massive brainbuster sealed the deal and gave Martenson the win. What a great opener! Both men looked good, with Martenson, in particular, being allowed to shine. Afterwards, Martenson tried to move EJ’s leg for him before giving Sparks some of his spilt beads. It looks like it’s not only Dan Joseph that’s got some issues.

Talking of Dan Joseph, he exploded again, pinning an assistant up against the wall outside the venue as the guy had the impudence to ask Dan to move his car, which was double parked. I’d say pick on someone your own size, but we’ve seen what Dan did to Ray Rosas…

“This Is About Us. It Happens Now”

Jack Farmer got word from The Hogsmen, who were not overly impressed by Farmer asking if they had bitten off more than they can chew by entering the four-team main event tonight for the UWN Tag Team Championships. In fact, Devin Sparks made it clear that if it wasn’t for the “Neon Pokemon, Simple Jack and 4 Inches of Heat” (Anthony Idol, Honest John and Midnight Heat—if you really didn’t know), The Hogsmen would have made history two weeks ago and taken the tag belts. “This is about us,” he ended; “It happens now.”

The Hogsmen mean business.

Adriel Noctis vs. Sketch

Adriel Noctis vs. Sketch title card
Credit: CWFHFanNews, Justin Cotterell & Mark Johnston

This one arose out of Noctis and Sketch having a moment of miscommunication when they tagged against Anthony Idol and Honest John, something which led to Noctis and Sketch taking the loss in that match. A little bit of heat occurred and both men decided to have this match to clear the air.

If I’m honest, this was the match I was least excited about across all the Coastline Clash evenings, but they actually pulled off a nice little match. Surprisingly, both men took things to the mat, to begin with, trying to get the edge over each other, before Sketch increased the speed and began bombarding Ariel with some big athletic moves. Noctis cut him off with a knee to the breadbasket and took it back to the mat, even locking in a nice MMA-style armbar at one point, but Sketch would not be grounded. He returned fire by picking up the pace once more and nailing a lovely German suplex but as Sketch tried to run Noctis from behind into the corner, Ariel had to nudge the ref out of the way lest she be sandwiched into the buckles. As the ref moved, the distraction allowed Noctis to slyly smash Sketch with a low blow from behind with a back kick to pick up the less-than-clean 1-2-3.

So, a good match, if nothing special, but more interestingly, Ariel Noctis appears to have turned fully on Sketch. Now, this should be interesting.

UWN Tag Team Champions The Bodega vs. Midnight Heat vs. The Hogsmen vs. Honest John & Anthony Idol

The Bodega vs. Midnight Heat vs. The Hogsmen vs. Idol and Honest John title card
Credit: CWFHFanNews, Justin Cotterell & Mark Johnston

Main event time, and what a main event it is! The champions looked cool and collected as they surveyed their opponents during the introduction. This was to be fought under elimination rules so, to be fair to The Bodega, all they had to do was let the others fight it out amongst themselves and then pick the bones.

Poor honest John, he got battered from pillar to post as the match began, with members of all three other teams getting on it. John eventually made the tag to Anthony Idol and Slice Boogie immediately tagged in Eddie Pearl, smartly picking his moment to attack the Neon Phenomenon instead.

Idol punished Pearl with slams and a Vader bomb. Honest John tagged back in and hit a nice looking brainbuster on Pearl but it was not to be, the Heat boys drilling him with the Power Ballad power slam/neck breaker combo to eliminate Howdy’s boys from the contest. Nice, but I’m only slightly bummed I didn’t get to see Idol and Papo Esco face off in a god-almighty hoss fight.

Eliminated: Honest John and Anthony Idol

Devin Sparks jumped right in and took advantage of an off-guard Ricky Gibson, trapping him in the corner and nailing him with a rope-assisted neck breaker. Sparks and Camden worked together well, exchanging quick tags and double-teaming Gibson to pull him by the legs straight into the ring post! Ouch! He’ll be singing soprano, for sure.

Eddie Pearl made a quick tag in and the Heat boys started to gain some traction, but Gibson found himself once again exchanging blows with Sparks. As he did so, he stumbled backwards, allowing Papo Esco to tag himself in. Now business would pick up.

Esco demolished Sparks with a body block and big splash but Mike Camden broke up the count. Ricky Gibson, having taken offence at Papo having tagged himself in, returned the favour, Ricky tried to hold Sparks at bay as he tried to make the hot tag to Camden, Eddie Pearl knocking the Hogsman off the apron to prevent the tag from happening. One Heat Magnet assisted spinning legdrop later and the Hogsmen were also gone!

Eliminated: The Hogsmen

And so, it was down to The Bodega and Midnight Heat, two teams that are no strangers to each other. Unfortunately for the Heat boys, The Bodega were entering this now as the much fresher team.

But as we returned from the final break, Eddie and Ricky seemed to have things under control, the pair taking turns to wear down Slice Boogie, who was only able to punctuate things with a suplex and a few fists before the Heat boys took over once more.

Unfortunately for Pearl, Boogie was able to slog his way into cornering Pearl, allowing him to make the hot tag to Papo Esco. The big man made the difference as all four men found their way into the ring, Boogie and Papo exchanging several crisis cross charges into the corners to squash the Het boat boys, before locking in stereo Boston crabs in a cool-looking moment.

Guy Tweakacetti leapt up on the apron to protest, forcing Boogie to drop the hold and shout him down. Eddie Pearl tried to sneak a shot at Boogie but Slim ducked, Eddie having to put on the breaks quickly to prevent him hitting Guy (who still somehow fell onto the studio floor). Boogie cracked Eddie from behind, Papo wheelbarrowed him up into position and Slice nailed the coup de grace, cracking Pearl in the head with a fierce scissor kick to take the 1-2-3.

Eliminated: Midnight Heat

Your Winners: The Bodega

This was a great match that showcased some of the best tag teams in Hollywood right now. In fact, you could argue that the United Wrestling Network has just as strong a tag division across its Hollywood and Memphis promotions as AEW does. The Bodega played it smart, letting Midnight Heat do all the work and wear themselves out so that the champs could just sneak in at the end reap the rewards.

Great work from all concerned.

Final Thoughts

Week two of Halston Boddy’s Coastline Clash was another slice of great entertainment from Championship Wrestling from Hollywood. They’ve really brought it with these shows, keeping the angles to a minimum and letting the wrestling do the talking and it’s worked really well for them.

EJ and Kevin Martenson put on a solid psychological encounter, Ariel Noctis made the intriguing decision to go rogue and turn on Sketch and The Bodega proved once again you can get anything you need—including a beatdown! The Bodega are great champions, but I’ve got to give a shout out to Midnight Heat too—they really are one of the best tag teams wrestling in America today. I mean that.

Join me next week as we enter the final week of Halston Boddy’s Coastline Clash!

Written by Chris Flackett

Wrestling obsessed since '91. Lived through the Monday Night Wars and is still here to tell the tale. Major fan of Strong Style, technical and Super Jr. Wrestling, as well as big versatile hosses smacking the hell out of each other. Lives in Manchester, England.

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