This week on Championship Wrestling, that slimy piece of work Nikko Marquez had a statement to make regarding the contracts he offered to the women’s division last week. Something tells me it’s not good news. Plus, a big title match was set for the main event, as UWN Tag Team Champions So-Cal Distancing were set to take on 4 Minutes of Heat in the main event.
Let’s head to the ring and see how it all went down!
Kevin Martenson vs. Max Caster
Kevin Martenson was looking for momentum going into his match this week with Heritage Champion Ray Rosas on Prime Time Live, but Max Caster wasn’t going to make it easy for him.
This started as a battle of speed vs power until Martenson went for the ‘Rat Trap’ Indian Deathlock submission. Caster began working the arm, breaking it up with a ‘Mic Drop’ elbow—complete with actual microphone—for a near-fall. Martenson was unable to hit a German suplex with his hurt arm, so he nailed Caster with a modified backbreaker instead. Caster foiled a leap from the top rope, but Martenson countered an armbar into another ‘Rat Trap’ attempt that again was unsuccessful.
Caster smelt blood and went for a charge but Martenson used his veteran’s knowledge to send Caster into the ring post, capitalising with a superkick and a brainbuster to end an enjoyable opener. Afterwards, Jon Roberts grabbed a word with Caster, who said he wouldn’t drop any rhymes, as rhymes are for winners, which made me chuckle, but Caster promised he’d be back to prove himself. We’ll hold him to that.
Don’t Put Your Hands On The Money
I know Halloween is around the corner but that was not the reason Richie Slade was wrapped up in bandages like a third-rate mummy. No, according to Flex, Richie was suffering from a very serious affliction: split ends! Flex warned off EJ Sparks and Jordan Clearwater from putting their hands on “The Money”, before stuffing sweets into a helpless Jon Roberts’ mouth—just because!
Very, very strange boys…
Jordan Clearwater vs. Lazarus
The two took it to the mat to begin with before Clearwater unloaded in the corner and threw Lazarus to the mat with a hip toss. Lazarus countered a backslide into a butterfly suplex, before hastily grinding his forearm into Clearwater’s face.
Clearwater, though, threw Lazarus off of a headlock into the ropes and pulled the trigger out of nowhere on that ‘Midas Touch’ big boot for the very quick, very decisive victory! It looked brutal, I must say.
Afterwards, Jordan Clearwater spoke to Jon Roberts (he’s been busy this night!) and put some options out there for Richie Slade: “left leg, hospital. Right leg, cemetery”. I wouldn’t mess with Clearwater if I were you, Richie.
But that wasn’t the end of matters. As Lazarus lay recovering on the mat, Miguel ran in and hit with a child bomb—getting the message, Watts?
The Iron Claw Speaks!
Next to speak with Jon Roberts was the new UWN TV Champion, Levi Shapiro, accompanied as always by Howdy Price. Levi cut a cool promo about he had paid his eyes alongside his former partner Buddy Royal but he never needed Royal or anyone and the belt proves it. Howdy, meanwhile, seemed to compare Levi’s journey to a beanstalk and seemed so excited he might explode, bless him…
Never Trust Nikko
Meanwhile, in a pre-taped promo, Nikki Marquez showed just why you should never trust him. It appears the contract Cece Chanel signed was to be Nikko’s personal assistant, and he seemed to be relishing having command over Cece, having her fetch him.water, just as much as he seemed to relish telling us that there would not be a Women’s Title.
He’s got some guts, I’ll give him that…
Anthony Idol vs. Jesse James
There’s many things I love in wrestling, but one thing I’m a sucker for is a big heavyweight boss fight. Idol and James are certainly two big boys and they swung at each other with some might, shoulder blocking each other for supremacy and landing massive, stinging chops in the corner. A double clothesline felled both of these redwoods early on as they attempted to establish dominance over the other.
A big boot from James stunned Idol, but he countered a lariat attempt with a spear, following up with a sit-down powerbomb for the win. Short but fun.
“You Speak When I Speak To You…That’s It”
Nikko Marquez is possibly the slimiest and most enjoyable heel in the business at the moment. Why? It’s simple. He’s not trying to be a tweener. He’s not trying to be cool, far from it. He’s smarmy on purpose to get heat, like, you know, a heel should. We all want to see the Women’s division give him a good kicking. That mean’s he’s doing his job properly.
Here he was with Cece Chanel, talking to Jon Roberts and he played his sliminess to the hilt. He went to call Cece his secretary before knowingly and amusedly correcting that to administrative assistant. He stopped Cece from speaking and told her she speaks when he speaks to her, and he has plans for Heather Monroe—a body bag match on the Halloween edition of the shoe, opponent to be announced!
Speaking of the ‘Killer Bae’, she made an appearance to tell everybody that the Women’s division is far from cancelled and the title belt is being made. She also accepts Nikko’s challenge, but it won’t be a boring old body bag match—it’s going to be a “Halston Boddy Bag” Match!
I don’t know what that will entail, but I’m certain it will be FABULOUS!!
UWN Tag Team Champions So-Cal Distancing vs. 4 Minutes of Heat
Main event time, and I really enjoyed this one. Both teams have been showing great form recently and this was no exception. The champions came storming out of the blocks before the bell, jumping 4 Minutes of Heat and beating them down. The Heat used their speed to come back and used their innovative double team manoeuvring to put a hurting on the champions, most notably with their ‘Jam Session’ leapfrog into a German suplex for a near-fall.
So-Cal Distancing used their brute force retake the advantage, clubbing Eddie Pearl all over the mat before working over Ricky Gibson’s arm. A top rope double stomp into a Death Valley Driver earned the champions a near-fall, but a Phoenix Splash attempt from Adrian Quest found nothing but canvas and a Thunder Bomb from Gibson.
The challengers were all over the champions then, and a neck breaker into a backstabber earned a near-fall. The pair then landed their ‘Power Ballad’ double team finisher but the ref was knocked down in the process, preventing the count being made. The lights went off and when they came back on, the mysterious masked leader of So-Cal Distancing was standing in the ring in a ref’s costume. Not that he counted anyone out—instead choosing to crack 4 Minutes of Heat with a crowbar. Ray Rosas ran out to make the save, only to get knocked out with chloroform by the masked man! So-Called Distancing keep getting the better of Rosas—what will it take for him to get revenge?
This was a really enjoyable edition of Championship Wrestling. We got a great main event, with So-Cal Distancing continuing to get the advantage over Ray Rosas. Nikko Marquez’s feud with the women’s division, meanwhile, is perhaps one of the most entertaining feuds on TV right now. Nikko is doing such a good job as a heel in this story, I can’t wait to see him get punched in the mouth—no offence Nikko!
I’ll see you next week grapple fans for more exciting action from Championship Wrestling!