It’s Championship Wrestling weekend, where the only ‘Takeover’ worth watching involves So-Cal Distancing!
This week on Championship Wrestling, David Marquez opened things by sombrely apologising for Nikko Marquez’s actions last week which essentially incited a riot in the studio. Nikko was arrested (cue hilarious mock-up of a police mugshot) but will be here tonight to address the Championship Wrestling audience.
We also have a big main event with Danny Limelight and Papo Esco taking on the team of Dan Joseph and EJ Sparks. That one should be a cracker!
Let’s head to the ring!
Jose Santiago vs. Will Allday
Will Allday is someone with a very bright future. He has really been impressing me over the last weeks. He is a naturally athletic competitor but doesn’t reach overkill with it. He does enough, and makes it all look crisp.
This was a short showcase for Allday and it made him look a million bucks. He used his athleticism to overwhelm Santiago, nailing him with a dropkick, a suicide dive, a lovely moonsault and a sharp brainbuster before finishing him with the ‘Stamp of Approval’ Swanton Bomb.
Jose had some cool moments too, following Allday back into the corner to surprise him with a spear, and hitting a fluid sequence of a backbreaker into a DDT-type move which looked pretty innovative.
But this was really all about Allday. In his post-match interview, Allday talks about how he’s been disrespected by CWFH since he joined—he was screwed in his match with Ray Rosas and now he’s being given Santiago (Bit harsh on Jose—I’ve got your back, sir)? He’s wrestled more main events than anyone else on the roster so you might as well call him the ‘main eventer’.
I think we might be calling him ‘champion’ one day soon…
The Doctor Recommends…Interruptions
We cut to a video of Ray Rosas filmed from his home where he is commenting on last week’s attack on him by So-Cal Distancing. The good news is that his doctor has said there is no permanent damage to his lumbar spine (we know—we saw you on AEW Dark Mr Rosas). The bad news is…but we don’t what the bad news is because the ‘We are Everywhere’ video pops up and replaces Ray.
They won’t let him wrestle. They won’t let him speak. What DO they want? Stay tuned.
Frankie Frank vs. Richie Slade
Will this be the night Frankie gets to sing his song? NOPE. Here come Richie Slade with his manager, Coach Flex, and they could barely contain their disgust at Frankie. From dismissing his beard as looking like a pirate’s, to saying his hair was greasy, to calling Frankie “an aesthetic distraction”, the Beef Candy Boys were getting solid heat from petty insults—and now Frankie would be the first to get a taste of Beef Candy! I hope he brought his sick bucket…
Frankie offered his hand for a shake to start, but Richie made him put on some hand sanitizer first! Having done so, Frankie reoffered the hand, only for Richie Slade to run his hand through his hair instead. The vain swine!
Slade dominated most of the action, tying Frank up and even pulling at Frankie’s beard hair. Frankie tried to hit the ‘Bottom’s Up’ Rock Bottom but Slade was able to roll through and roll Frankie up. Sending Frankie to the ropes, Coach Flex was able to crack Frankie in the head with a tin of air freshener, allowing Slade to hit ‘The Unprettier’ (now ‘The Botch’) for the pinfall victory.
Disdain has never been so much fun. Bring on more Beef Candy!
Nikko Marquez vs. The Women’s Division
No, this wasn’t a match. But if the women’s division gets its hands on Nikko Marquez, there’s certainly going to be an ass kicking involved…
See, Nikko was making a statement—in the shadow of a noticeably large piece of muscle behind him. He told how his attorneys had told him he needed to apologise. He did so, from the side of his mouth in a matter of milliseconds, unsurprisingly. But he had another announcement to make. He has been scared for his life so he has a bodyguard. He has a document sworn and signed by his attorneys that says the women’s division is cancelled. Now if you’ll excuse him…WHAT?
Can he do that? What about the contracts of the women wrestlers? Who the hell would want to be a bodyguard for Nikko? This is going to get ugly fast.
Clark Connors & Slice Boogie vs. The Friendship Farm
It’s wrestling’s happiest tag team versus what might possibly now be its toughest and most mean spirited.
If you thought it was Connors and Boogie would be the more aggressive team…I’m as surprised as anyone to tell you they weren’t. Jervis and Sweet Robin really showed their aggressive side in this match, and when they did, they genuinely looked dangerous!
Jervis lost his temper first, responding to a Connors push with shoulder barges and a slap to the face. Sweet Robin tagged in later and started by hugging the referee. But by the time he had absorbed a series of chops from Connors, he had seemingly turned into the Incredible Hulk, chopping Connors back, shoulder barging him viciously in the corner, and hitting a mean saito suplex.
It took Slim Boogie pretending he would hug Jervis before kicking him for the heels to get the advantage. A back breaker, fallaway slam and leg drop followed. Connors took a cheap shot at Robin, allowing the heels to double team Jervis as the ref dealt with Robin. A double suplex and a double stomping in the corner showed the heels had cohesion as a team.
Slice Boogie made the fatal error, though, of rubbing his, uh, mini-boogies down with Jervis’ jacket. It only served to anger the Gentleman, throwing himself at Slice Boogie. Connors was able to prevent a tag, though, allowing another spot of double teaming. Not for long, though. Jervis flipped out of a double back suplex attempt and made the hot tag to Sweet Robin, who…got pinned after missing a ‘Sweet Victory’ spin kick, allowing Connors to run the ropes for momentum and hit a monster spear for the pinfall victory.
This was a genuinely great match. Slim Boogie and Connors worked really well as a team, whilst The Friendship Farm showed they can actually have an edge to them when needed, and it actually suited them.
As the Farm boys were interviewed after the match—victory is their “number two export”, chaps—Anthony Idol interrupted to let the “pencil pushers and bean counters” in the back know that he still works here. It’s true that he’s not been seen since Ray Rosas snuck past him on the return edition of Championship Wrestling to answer Watts’ open challenge. He was on last week’s Prime Time Live, but those pencil pushers better beware—Idol looked like he meant business.
Jordan Clearwater vs. Jack Cartwright
It’s the Gold Standard and it can come from anywhere. Clearwater started by backing Cartwright into the corner. He made a clean break, but Cartwright feigned a handshake to kick and punch Clearwater into the corner. A big handspring elbow missed, though, and the Midas Touch erupted outta nowhere for the 1-2-3.
Like I said: it’s the Gold Standard.
Run Nikko, Run Nikko, Run Run Run!
I told you it would get ugly fast.
Outside the studio, Nikko Marquez was caught on camera running to his car and telling someone to drive! Right on his tail were Heather Monroe, Lacey Ryan, Cece Chanel and Vipress, who had some choice words for Nikko as his car sped off.
I hope Nikko’s made a will…
The Bodega (Papo Esco & Danny ‘Limelight’ Rivera) vs. United TV Champion Dan Joseph and EJ Sparks
The Bodega have got swagger, man. Look at the way Danny Limelight slinks around that ring. To be fair, it probably takes the weight off your mind, knowing you’ve got a great big hoss backing you up.
EJ Sparks started out strong for his team, nailing Danny Limelight with a roundhouse kick and a spinning elbow in the corner. Limelight cracked Joseph with a forearm on the apron, though, causing Joseph to storm the ring and the ref to push back. The distraction allowed Esco and Limelight to give Sparks a battering. Esco bullied him with big fists and a suplex, while Limelight used those dangerous feet of his to keep Sparks grounded.
Sparks eventually made the hot tag to Joseph, who unleashed a series of clotheslines and knocked Esco to the outside. Limelight came back with a lovely Northern Lights suplex into a double stomp but he was distracted by Sparks diving over the ropes onto Esco. The distraction allowed Joseph to roll Limelight up for the surprise victory.
This was a short but fun match that has plenty of potential for a rematch. The Bodega boys are really starting to look like a unit and could tag champions Adrian Quest and Andy Brown some trouble. But something tells me that they’ll look to put this loss right first.
This week’s Championship Wrestling was a big-time fun and a great example of how a show can build people up without everything being a major angle or incident. Will Allday and Jordan Clearwater got some clean, decisive wins and looked stronger for it. The Friendship Farm showed new fire against the formidable duo of Clark Connors and Slim Boogie, and The Bodega Boys found themselves a grievance in a clean loss.
Meanwhile, the Nikko Marquez vs the women’s division feud is gaining momentum and has become perhaps the most exciting part of the show each week. Marquez has become a master villain, and by now I’m gagging to see him take an absolute pounding!
I’ll see you next week, grapple fans, for another edition of Championship Wrestling!