Premier League 2022/23 Matchday One Predictions

The Premier League 2022/23 season is almost upon us. After one of the shortest summer breaks ever—due to the fact that someone at FIFA decided that a ton of money would be all it took for them to dump a World Cup in the middle of everyone’s domestic competitions—we are now just two days away from the kick-off of The Premier League 2022/23 Matchday One. So what’s going to happen? Who will be the winners and losers when the dust settles on opening day? Well, as I don’t have Mystic Meg powers, all I can do is guess, so here are my predictions for The Premier League 2022/23 Matchday One.

Crystal Palace vs. Arsenal

This all depends on what Arsenal team shows up. If it’s the one that has had a brilliant pre-season that saw them spank Chelsea 4-0 and Sevilla 6-0, then there can only be one winner. But if Arsenal reverts to type, then the Premier League 2022/23 campaign will be a long one for their fans. I’m going to go out on a limb here and say that Gooners have nothing to worry about this year. Even though I don’t think they’ll finish Top 4 this time out—though I do think it’ll be close—I fully expect them to secure European football and they should start that off by getting a comfortable win over Palace.

Result: Crystal Palace 0 Arsenal 2

Fulham vs. Liverpool

In my predictions article earlier this week, I said that Fulham would go straight back down and that Liverpool would win the league, and I’ve seen nothing to change that. Liverpool looked very good against Man City in The Community Shield and Fulham just doesn’t have enough about them to cause The Reds any real problems on Saturday. I do expect Fulham to grab a goal, but Liverpool will steamroller them on their way to an easy three points.

Result: Fulham 1 Liverpool 4

Bournemouth vs. Aston Villa

Bournemouth are another team I’ve said will go down at the end of The Premier League 2022/23 season, and even though I think they’ll give a good account of themselves on the opening day, I feel Villa will be too strong. There’s a lot of expectation on Steven Gerrard now that the Villa team has been molded into his shape, so he has to deliver at least a decent top-half finish and one decent cup run. The owners have spent a mindboggling amount of money since Villa came back up in 2019—somewhere in the region of £400 million and climbing—and it’s understandable if they now want to see some return on that investment. With Gerrard at the helm and a fully fit and up-to-speed Philippe Coutinho pulling the strings, I expect big things from Villa this year and they start it off with a hard-fought win at The Cherries.

Result: Bournemouth 1 Aston Villa 2

Newcastle vs. Nottingham Forest

It seems that some of my fellow football writers can’t seem to get their heads around the fact that Newcastle has yet to make a big money signing during the off-season. Why this is so difficult for them to understand eludes me. Yes, Newcastle are now the richest club in the known universe, but they’re still Newcastle. Now don’t get me wrong, this isn’t a dig at The Toon Army but look at the facts. For most of last season, they were in serious danger of going down. Then in came the money and in came Eddie Howe and Newcastle finished in 11th place. While it was a miracle that even Jesus would’ve been proud of, it still means no European football, and no European football means that the talent base you can choose from is going to be limited. Sure, they’ve been linked with James Maddison from Leicester, but £50 million? There’s no way he’s worth that. As for Forest, I’ve already stated that they’ll stay up and expect them to put in a shift and grind out a draw here.

Result: Newcastle 1 Nottingham Forest 1

Tottenham vs. Southampton

Southampton are doomed. The Premier League 2022/23 season will be the one that sees them go down, and Ralph Hasenhüttl will be the first Premier League manager out of the door. Probably by October. And that slippery slope will start when Antonio Conte’s Spurs batter them. Sorry, Saints Fans, but this is the beginning of the end and the season hasn’t even kicked off yet.

Result: Tottenham 4 Southampton 0

Leeds vs. Wolves

I’ve seen a fair few prediction videos and articles claiming that Leeds are going to be in a fight for their lives again this season, and I can see why people would think so. They’ve lost both Kalvin Phillips and Raphinha —easily their two best players—and replaced them with names that nobody has ever heard of and have zero experience in the PL, as well as having sacked Marcelo Bielsa and replacing him with Jesse Marsch, which most see as a downgrade. But I think Leeds will be just fine. A mid-table finish is on the cards for Leeds, and Wolves as well—who seem happy just to make up the numbers—so expect this match on the Premier League 2022/23 opening day to reflect that.

Result: Leeds 1 Wolves 1

Everton vs. Chelsea

Everton fans, this is going to be another uncomfortable season for you. After narrowly—like a gnat’s ass length—avoiding relegation last year, The Toffees are going to be in another fight for their PL survival this time out, and though I expect them to stay up, just, it’s not going to be with Lampard at the helm. If Ralph Hasenhüttl is the first for the chop, then Frank Lampard will be the next head on the block, gone by late November and replaced by Steve Bruce or someone else utterly underwhelming. Chelsea will have the usual Chelsea season, end up third, and probably win a trophy along the way. Same old, same old for The Blues.

Result: Everton 1 Chelsea 3

Leicester vs. Brentford

If I’d written this a week ago, I’d have had a comfortable win for The Foxes down, and nobody would’ve batted an eyelid, but the fact that they’re allowing Kasper Schmeichel—their captain, their biggest influence in the dressing room, and the best goalkeeper they’ve had on their books since Gordon Banks and Peter Shilton—to leave for Nice, well, that’s going to come back and bite them on the arse in a massive way. Nobody should underestimate just how important Schmeichel is to Leicester, and losing him will mean a very rocky start for them. I fully expect Brentford to take advantage of them trying to break in a new keeper and come away with all three points.

Result: Leicester 0 Brentford 2

Man Utd vs. Brighton

What looked like a decent pre-season for Man Utd kind of fell off in the second half of their friendly with Aston Villa, when they allowed a two-goal lead to slip and drew 2-2. It isn’t a red flag moment but does go to prove that there is still a long way for the Red Devils to go before they can be seen as serious contenders to the PL crown. The Premier League 2022/23 season isn’t going to be the season that that happens. Utd should make the Europa League without too much of a problem and Brighton will once again have everyone ranting about how brilliant Graham Potter is as a manager, even when they go 15 games without a win.

Result: Man Utd 3 Brighton 1

West Ham vs. Man City

West Ham finished last season one place off of the previous year’s finish, which shouldn’t be any cause for concern, but the fact that they also finished with nine points less should at least raise a few eyebrows. Now I’m not suggesting that the David Moyes bubble has burst, just that it might be deflating a little. As for City, they’re going to be smarting from the 3-1 loss to Liverpool in The Community Shield the previous weekend, and even though that match is nothing more than a glorified friendly I expect them to take their frustrations out on The Hammers on matchday on of The Premier League 2022/23 season. Honestly? I expect a rout.

Result: West Ham 0 Man City 5


So, what do you think? Am I talking bollocks or am I spot on? Let me know in the comments or find Sports Obsessive on Twitter and Facebook.

Written by Neil Gray

SPOBS very own Mouth Of The South (West).

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